either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
