I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
