Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
