It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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