Slut skills are useful in every country.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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