two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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