I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
