I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
worst night to have a conscience
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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