he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
