Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
