My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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