I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
