she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
