his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
