The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
