All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize