We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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