Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
