What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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