Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
smell my finger.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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