: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
