Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
