So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
