Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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