If i come over, it means nothing
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
