Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Your cock deserves a montage
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
