Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
