So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
