I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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