im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
