Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize