Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
