If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
