if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
