I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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