actually, I'm a sock model
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Terrible idea I love it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
