I think my vagina is haunted
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
you're hired as official boob wrangler
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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