dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
