weddingsv make me drug and hornr
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
