so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
