she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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