maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
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I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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