I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
