she looked like the bat from fern gully.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
