Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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