My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
