He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
