I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
