I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
