he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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