There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
