So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize