Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
