Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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