I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
