I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
