Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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