god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
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Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
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After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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