ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
