The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we're making bets on your personal life
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
