You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
